Why Closure Is a Myth (and What to Do Instead)

Let’s be honest: the word closure gets tossed around like it’s some romantic life preserver. “I just need closure.” “I never got closure.” “If they’d just explain why, then I could move on.”

Spoiler alert: Closure is mostly a myth.
And the longer you wait for it, the longer you stay stuck.

1. Closure Is Often Just a Fantasy

We imagine this neat, final conversation where everything makes sense. They apologize. You forgive. You both walk away wiser, lighter, healed. That rarely happens.

Reality Check: People ghost. People lie. People break up in the messiest ways imaginable. And the truth? The real closure is accepting that you may never get the answers you want.

2. What You Really Want Is Control

You’re not actually craving “closure.” You want clarity. You want control over the chaos. You want a reason that makes sense so you can box it up and shelve the pain.

But breakups rarely come with clean explanations. Sometimes they left because they couldn’t love you the way you needed. Sometimes because they just…didn’t. And that sucks—but it’s also reality.

Hard Truth: Closure is often just a fancy word for wanting the pain to make sense.

3. Their Words Wouldn’t Change the Outcome

Even if they told you everything, would it really help? Or would you just spiral harder—reading between lines, overanalyzing every word?

Let’s Be Real: You're not waiting for clarity. You’re hoping their explanation will somehow make it not hurt. It won’t.

4. Closure Comes From You

The person who hurt you isn’t the person who gets to heal you. Read that again.

You get to choose when it’s done. You get to decide:
“I don’t understand it all. But I’m done needing to.”

That’s closure. Not the text. Not the conversation. Not the final drink where they explain why they weren’t who you needed.
Just you—choosing peace over answers.

From the Male Perspective…

I’ve been there—waiting for the late-night text that never comes. Wondering what I did wrong. Hoping for a conversation that would never happen.

What I learned? Waiting for closure just keeps you in emotional quicksand.

Whether you’re a man or woman—don’t wait for someone else to give you the permission to move on. Rip off the emotional Band-Aid. You don’t need their validation. You need your freedom.

Final Thoughts: Let Go Without the Last Word

Closure doesn’t come from a conversation. It comes from acceptance. From finally saying, “This sucked. But I’m moving forward anyway.”

Stop waiting for a story that makes the pain logical.
Start writing the next chapter—even if it begins with confusion.

You don’t need their words to heal. You just need your own truth.