How to Get Over Someone You Still Love

Let’s be real—getting over someone you still love feels like trying to quit heroin with nothing but caffeine and Spotify. It’s brutal. It messes with your head. You wake up thinking about them, fall asleep checking your phone, and in between you lie to your friends about how “you’re totally fine.”

Yeah. Been there. More than once. Doesn’t matter if you’re a grown man in your 50s or a woman fresh off her first heartbreak—pain doesn’t care how old you are.

So let’s skip the soft, feel-good advice and get straight to it: how do you actually get over someone who still has your heart—even when you know they shouldn’t?

1️⃣ Accept the Damn Truth

They’re gone. And not in a Nicholas Sparks “maybe someday” way. In a real-life, they’re-not-coming-back kind of way.

Maybe they ghosted. Maybe they lied. Maybe you just grew apart. Doesn’t matter.

What matters is, they’re not your person anymore—and clinging to hope is just dragging out your own suffering.

Hard Truth: Closure isn’t something they give you. It’s something you give yourself. Read that again - It’s something YOU give yourself.

2️⃣ Feel It. All of It.

You want to drink it away. Swipe it away. Work it away. But that grief? It’s not going anywhere until you face it.

Cry. Rage. Punch a pillow. Scream in your car. Write a letter you’ll never send. Do whatever it takes to get the poison out of your system.

Bottling it up just turns heartbreak into emotional cancer.

Reminder: Feeling pain doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human. It’s better to have loved and lost then to never have loved.

3️⃣ Cut Contact — Cold Turkey

Stop texting. Stop checking their social. Stop driving by their place like a lost Uber driver.

You don’t need “closure,” you need distance. The more you feed the addiction, the harder it is to break.

Block them if you have to. No shame in protecting your sanity.

If you don’t cut the cord, they’ll keep pulling on it.

4️⃣ Don’t Rewrite the Story

When we lose someone we love, we tend to remember the highlight reel—how they looked at you, that trip to Mexico, the late-night conversations.

But let’s be honest: if they were really that perfect, you wouldn’t be reading this. They had flaws. Big ones.

Don’t forget the whole damn story.

Rewatching the good parts while ignoring the plot holes will keep you stuck.

5️⃣ Reclaim Your Time and Identity

Remember all the things you stopped doing for them? Do them again.

Go back to the gym. Reconnect with friends. Start that business. Learn to cook more than frozen pizza.

The version of you that existed before them is still in there—just a little bruised.

Time to wake him (or her) up.

6️⃣ Stop Romanticizing Pain

Yeah, love hurts. But staying in love with someone who isn’t good for you isn’t romantic—it’s self-destruction dressed up in nostalgia.

You don’t need another playlist about heartbreak. You need action.

Replace longing with momentum.

7️⃣ Let Time Do Its Thing

There’s no hack for heartbreak. No shortcut. Just time, space, and honesty.

One day you’ll realize you didn’t think about them the whole day. Then a week. Then a month.

Healing isn’t linear, but it’s real—and it’s coming for you if you let it.

Final Thought

If you’re reading this with tears in your eyes or your stomach in knots, know this: you’re not broken.

You’re just in between chapters. The fact that you can love deeply is a gift—but giving that love to the wrong person isn’t noble. It’s just wasted time.

Choose you. Every damn day. Until it doesn’t hurt anymore.