How to Move On When You Didn’t Get an Apology

Let’s just say it: Not getting an apology sucks. It’s one of the most frustrating, unfair, soul-bruising things that can happen in a breakup—or hell, in life.

They hurt you. They lied. They ghosted, cheated, manipulated, disrespected—or maybe they just casually stomped on your heart like it was no big deal. And then they moved on like nothing happened.

And there you are. Still waiting. Still angry. Still replaying what you should’ve said. And most of all—still hoping they’ll show up one day and say the magic words:

“I’m sorry.”

But here’s the reality: most of them never will. And even if they do? It won’t be what you imagined.

So the question is—how do you move on without the apology?
Here’s the real answer, from someone who’s lived it more than once.

1. Accept That Some People Don’t Have the Capacity to Own Their Sh*t

You’re expecting emotional maturity from someone who couldn’t even handle a basic adult conversation without gaslighting you or walking out. What makes you think they suddenly found self-awareness?

Waiting for an apology from a narcissist is like waiting for your ex to return your hoodie and dignity—ain’t happening.

2. Closure Is Something You Give Yourself

We’ve been fed this romanticized crap that healing comes when the other person makes it right.

Newsflash: most people who hurt you don’t think they did anything wrong—or worse, they know and just don’t care.

You don’t need their apology to heal.
You need your own permission to stop giving them emotional rent-free space.

3. Write the Apology You Deserved (Then Burn It)

Write it. Every word. Everything they should’ve said:

“I’m sorry I lied.”
“I’m sorry I made you feel small.”
“I’m sorry I was too much of a coward to love you the way you deserved.”

Then burn it, rip it up, bury it—whatever feels right.
You’re not doing this for them. You’re doing it to release yourself from the weight of unsaid words.

4. Don’t Mistake Silence for Innocence

Just because they’re not owning up to it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.
You know what they did. Your pain is real.

Their silence isn’t some cosmic gray area—it’s just avoidance.
Trust your experience, not their lack of acknowledgement.

5. Shift the Narrative: They Don’t Get the Last Word—You Do

When you keep waiting for them to make it right, you’re giving them power they don’t deserve.

They hurt you and get to delay your healing? Hell no. Flip the script.

The last word is you getting up, moving forward, and not letting their damage become your identity.

6. Do the One Thing They Never Could: Take Responsibility—for You

They couldn’t say sorry. They couldn’t be honest. They couldn’t be decent. Fine. That’s their ceiling.

But you? You get to do better—for yourself.

Take responsibility for healing. For choosing peace over bitterness.
For building a life they don’t get to poison anymore.

Final Thought

You’re not weak for wanting an apology. That desire comes from being a decent human who believes in accountability.

But waiting around for someone to grow a conscience is a waste of time you’ll never get back.

Let them go. Not because they said sorry—but because you’ve outgrown the version of yourself that needed their validation in the first place.

No closure is closure. Their silence says enough. Move on anyway.